Awake

Did you ever wake up and wonder
If your life is worth it
If your talent entertains
If your intellect goes the distance
If your drive really matters
Did you ever wonder these things and think
Maybe the world is better off without me
Maybe others pretend to care, but really don't
Maybe life is not all that it's cracked up to be
Maybe there is no point at all.
And did you ever think those things and realize
My life is incomplete
My personality is flawed
My friends are not real
My goals are unattainable
And when realization comes, that is when a decision must be made.
Does it continue, and try harder
Or does it stop, never to be again.

Defeated, broken
I stand at the threshold
Of all that is, and all that will be
Alpha, omega, start, finish
Where will I go beyond this point?
Float in the air like a small bubble?
Take on a human shape?
Frighten my former piers?
Or is this it?
Darkness surrounds,
It’s suffocating qualities envelop me
Taking my soul, my being
My essence….somewhere else.
And when the darkness lifts
I can see…….

Eye of plenty
--------------------
A scornful stare
A hateful glance
An awkward look
The looking glass
Reflecting back
What I do see.
A crooked smile
A slighted me.
But it goes beyond
The surface skin
I see beneath
What lies within.
The eyes betray
What one would hide
Those dark,deep secrets
Tucked away inside.
I gaze into
My iris brown
Joy becomes scorn
Smile becomes frown.
I see the darkness
That hides my guilt
Hidden behind
The walls I built
Turning away
From the mirror high
To rid myself
Of a miserable eye.

From afar I watch helplessly
The pain, the sadness, the tragedy.
A force dwindling under the weight of another
Trying to prevent being torn asunder.

The small things, once magical, no more
The entire world seems dead.
Wrestling with thoughts and ideas
Keeping them barely fed.

A spark reunites, but only lasts a while.
What was a 3 minute walk, seems more like a mile.
Separation anxiety runs through the body
Staying sane will take more than a hobby.

A glimmer of light, a connection made
Maybe some symmetry at last?
Time is the only test to face
The future must become the past.

Spiraling down, extend a hand
Helping one, best as one can.
Will it be enough? Will there be success?
Or will all remain a gutted mess.